09 Mar 10 Joke – short jokes07

Q: What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak. Q: What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A: They can both smell it but can’t eat it. Q: How is a woman like a condom? A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. Q: What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken? A: By the time you’ve finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in. Q: Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team? A: Because everybody who can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S. Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. Q: What’s the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky? A: Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods. Q: What’s the difference between love, true love and showing off? A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling. Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead? A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up. Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full. Q: How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? A: Put a nipple on it. Q: What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking? A: Slow down and use a lubricant. Q: What’s six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? A: Money!!! Q: What’s the definition of a male chauvinist pig? A: A man who hates every bone in a woman’s body, except his own. Q: Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? A: Because most men are stupid, but few are blind. Q: What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common? A: They’ve both swallowed a lot of semen. Q: How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? A: It’s not hard. Q: Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? A: The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts. Q: Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony? A: She is the one who can eat the last donut! Q: What’s the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom? A: A pick pocket snatches watches. Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering? A: More head room. Q: What do a dildo and soy beans have in common? A: They are both used as a meat substitute. Q: What’s the difference between a blimp and 365 blow jobs? A: One is a goodyear, and the other is a great year! Q: What do old women have between their breasts that young women don’t? A: A bellybutton!